Don't my hands look huge?
Well hello out there. It is the weekend now. It is the fourth day since I had my first chemo treatment. I feel "okay." I feel like I have the flu or something. I am achy nearly all over and have very low energy. I haven't even had the energy and/or focus to finish up the Tom Robbins novel "Skinny Legs and and All" which I thought I would have finished long ago, in Arizona. Whatever. It is not about the "finishing" of things that is getting to me....it is the sheer boredom of being in this wiped out physical state. I would've thought that this would be a great opportunity to read lots of books and stuff. Not feeling good is a distraction though; a distraction that I did not understand beforehand. Can I ride the wave of the way my body feels at each moment? Can I rise above the mundanity of this physically inhibited state?
Because, you see...
My mind wants to dance, but this body is in a chemo trance
My wild spirit wants to fly, but this body will not comply
The lover in me wants to sing, to bring, and to give my everything
But...
I am reclining, dining, and residing inside a dream that stings
I am crawling, creeping, sleeping, weeping, with wilted wings
Laying low, moving slow, saying "no," trying to let go
Of...
Life as I knew it, believing that one day I'll come back to it
If I can just see through this tangled web, dew, and mist
I'll soon emerge, beautiful, whole, and new
Tried by fire and beloved by you
