(This is Kali-ma. She is dark because she absorbs the pain and hatred of the world. But her heart is pure gold. Inside, she is pure gold. She represents facing our fear and "conquering" our ego. This is so the Divine can shine more purely and magnificantly through our human costumes.)
I started noticing the little hairs strewn about my bathroom sink last night. Hmmm. This morning in the shower, I rubbed my head under the water then went to rub my face and.....got a handful of hair. So my good wonderful friend Betty Anne is coming over at ten this morning to shave it off for me.
You know, I am glad to know that the chemo is working. It is doing its job. And I am doing mine. I am taking excellent care of myself. And others are helping me in so many blessed ways. I am loving myself. I am a good person. It is a good body I have. It is a good, blessed life I live. It is worth holding onto. It is worth cherishing. It is worth loving.
Some monks shave their heads as part of renunciation. Natalie Portman has her head shaved in the film " V For Vendetta" as a part of facing and overcoming fear. I am thinking positively about this whole experience. I feel good. I have been sleeping wonderfully for the past two nights. This experience is a part of my journey in this life. This inner pain must be transmuted, transformed, into something purer, lighter, loftier, so it can float away and be burned up by the sun. I am a channel, I am a vessel, I am a vehicle of consciousness. So let it be. Let this pain be purified into something more beautiful, something healing, something new. Let this life be taken apart so it can be put back together into something magnificant. Something that it was intended to be. Serve as it was intended to serve.
That is how I am feeling at the moment.
