Despite the fact that I was told on Friday that someone from appointments would contact me on Monday to give me a new appointment, I've not heard anything yet.
Today I contacted them and asked for details of my rescheduled op, to be told 'No, there is no date yet - you need to ring back, maybe try again tomorrow'...
So, that's what I'll do then - ring back tomorrow. Sleep on the stress again and hope that by tomorrow someone realises that to go through with this I NEED to (re) prepare MENTALLY and to do that I need to be made aware of when it's all happening....
Apart from that I'm feeling quite fed up this evening as I've now heard about 5 people in the last 5 days whose cancer has returned....Had a long telephone chat with a friend last night about her mum moving to Stage 4 after being clear for two years now :-(
This was after finding out about 3 other people over the previous 3 days - two who had been 'clear' for over 3 years and one who has just been newly diagnosed.
I said to Rab afterwards it just feels like it's all the time we're hearing about someone else either being diagnosed or re-diagnosed
Then this afternoon someone else I've come to regard as a good friend told me that there is a chance that their cancer has returned in a new spot.
I'm feeling like it doesn't even seem to matter about how hard you fight this bastard thing, or how strict you are on diet, or how determined you are to get through and get rid of it, or how positively you face things - IT calls all the shots, we are simply spectators...and that's how I'm feeling tonight.
Sad, angry and frustrated with the whole thing called cancer.
