No one is talking about my cancer at home.
It's like..
If we don't mention it, it will go away.
I think about it at least twice a day.
How do I feel?
Well, I don't know really, it changes from thought to thought.
Going back to the stages of grief, I am probably in the 'disbelief stage'.
Sometimes, I feel nothing at all, and others, I just don't believe it.
I forgot to take my temperature yesterday. I must remember today.
I have picked my funeral plan. I am still waiting for the money to come from the 'Critical Illness' policy I took out yonkers ago.
I have to continue paying the premiums until I get the money, or I don't get the money.
Anyway, all the paper work is done for this funeral plan....
I have even picked the music. I think that I will put it on CD.
I might even do a video...........
I can change it each year to fit the circumstances, because, as you know, everything changes.
I genuinely believe that I am not going to die, not of this cancer anyway.
I had always planned to just 'wake up dead' one morning, when I am about 70 years old!
I see no reason why I should change these plans at this stage of the game!! lol!
Well, just need to wait until Monday now, when I have to go to the hospital to have further tests and do a bit of prep for Tuesday when the chemo begins.
