Bill is not my biological grandfather. He married my grandma Julie around the time my parents got married, in 1980. Bill and Julie have been staying with my dad for the past few years. During this time my grandma has been bedridden and only partly here mentally. Bill has been the seemingly more healthy and alert one, though they are both around 90.
It was discovered over the Christmas holiday that Bill had cancer in his GI tract. In fact, he went to the hospital on Christmas Eve. My dad took him there. They soon diagnosed him.
Things have progressed pretty quickly, at least it seems quickly to me, from here. Bill stayed at a rehabilitation center for about a month. All he could have was liquid, no solid food because his body could no longer process it. He lost 22 pounds.
I saw him once, two weekends ago, he had just come home. He looked so different. But also slightly childlike in a strange way. Still cracking a joke here and there, his tendency toward sarcasm still shining through here and there, but he definitely seemed weaker, tired.
My dad tells me that it may not be long now, which will probably be a blessing for Bill. Hospice is giving Bill medication for the pain and he now has a hospital bed to lie in at my dad's house, along with Julie.
I know to die will probably be a blessing for Bill at this point, but to think of his life coming to an end and him being gone makes tears well up in my eyes. The truth is I will really miss him.
He was truly a unique character.
It was when I moved into my dad's while being treated for Hodgkin's that I got closer to Bill and Julie. Like them, I was at the house a lot, and I think we all formed a certain bond because of this.
I remember one day Bill was cursing and yelling at the news on TV from his recliner in the living room, as he often would do. I had just recently moved into the house and I had the door to my room closed but could still hear him. I am pretty sure I even had the room to my room's bathroom closed and I could still hear him. I was still very sensitive and emotional from the recent cancer diagnosis, not to mention the medicine I was on. I started crying pretty loudly, as I all of a sudden was feeling very sorry for myself adjusting to this new environment. Bill heard me and came in. He just kind of looked at me and maybe hugged me and said something like "I know, girl, I know." And I think he did know.
Something I liked about living with Bill was that he loved to put on records and CDs of classical music. He also really enjoyed my playing. It was so touching when I would play/sing something and I'd see tears in his eyes. He started crying. He told me he was so proud of me.
He also was often open about the fact that he thought I was pretty and reminded me on a regular basis that I was not his biological grand-daughter. Some might've found this offensive, but for the most part, I found it kind of funny. He just said the funniest things...to me and to others! He definitely liked women. He teased my dad about being a ladies man because my mom and my dad's girlfriend both visited the house (my parents are divorced but good friends). He really loved Julie, though. He was always concerned with how she was doing and if she was getting enough to eat. He always warmed her up coffee and put it in her hand although, more often than not, she spilled it over herself (once it had cooled off, of course) rather than drink it.
He had a nickname for the hospital: "horse pistol." I thought of that tonight while crying and it made me start laughing. That is very Bill. Those are the kinds of memories of Bill I am going to have. I don't know if I would've gotten this close if we had not lived together while I went through cancer treatment. That contributes to the bond. It is hard to explain exactly, but I felt like writing a little bit about it tonight.
If you read this please send prayers to Bill for his comfort and ease of transition, and to my dad for strength and endurance through what has to be an intense time. God Bless.
