Singin to Ben Folds b4 church yesterdayThanks for the hair Kitty
Wow! I feel good today.
What a pleasant surprise.
Chemo went well yesterday, I slept almost the whole time, on and off. I felt nice sensations in my back as I drifted in and out.
Today I have not taken any prescription drugs! No pain meds, no nausea meds.
I took a nap after waking up around 8, but not a real long one.
I sat outside with Pooka and played the 12-string Betty Anne loaned me.
I made lunch, played around on the computer, loaded a few more discs into my ITunes library.
It has been conveyed to me through multiple people that if I want to get better then I should have a vision of what I will do next. Well, I feel a calling to be a healer of some sort. I am just not sure what sort or how it will happen. I am in touch with FSU regarding my application for the Music Therapy program. There are only two more things I need to submit apparently. I told them what was going on with my health and that I was not sure if I would be ready to go to school this fall. I don't know if this is the right path anymore. I guess I just want to get well and focus on staying well. I am scared that if I throw myself into graduate school I will stop focusing on my health and what if i get sick again? Plus, the $. But....I need to do something with my life.
I want to go visit Colorado when I get better and visit a healer friend out there. Right now I am putting it to the universe and to some people that will hopefully help me that I want to have a professional looking CD made. I have over 50 original songs and have been performing for over a decade. It is time to make an actual product!
When I get better (and now) i really want to focus on healthy eating, healthy living, and learning. I miss learning! I guess I mean I miss being in school. I am still learning here and there! =) I can't be drinking every night like I did before this cancer stuff hit the fan. Obviously if one feels like they are living the same day over and over, there is some sort of stagnation happening. When i feel the sadness/loniliness/whatever the heck it is, i've just got to sit through it. Sing through it. Work through it. Wait. Be patient. Nothing lasts forever.
I went to a great concert on Sunday night. It was Crystal Stafford's benefit for Nepal at the Present Moment cafe. It was very cool. She wants to pick a cause each year and do things to help. She also plays music, teaches yoga, and cooks good food. Neat stuff. I got to see many friends there and i even won prizes. I am glad i went.
There are infinite possibilities. And the mind is a creation machine, especially mine it seems. The right paths are going to open up. I am going to open up. Miracles will happen. There is no need to worry. But vizualization and coming up with ideas is good.
But, of the moment, Praise the Lord and my angels that I am feeling so good today~!! Seriously. This is the best I have felt after chemo since my treatment began. Today at 3 I get a Neulasta shot. Hopefully I will have developed a similar tolerance (in the sense that the yucky side effects are mild or non-existent, not in the sense that it does not do the job it is supposed to do!) or whatever the period of grace is will continue! Whatever happens, it will be okay. It is temporary!
Yay for health!
