I miss Pooka's sweet little face!!
What an angel.
I am kind of "homesick" in general.
It's the weekend, you know...well practically.
I had kind of an "off" day.
This morning I looked in the mirror and thought my neck was getting fat and wrinkled.
This upset me at different points through out the day.
But tonight it doesn't look that way to me as much anymore. Yet I walked around feeling self-conscious about it. I'm so superficial! Kind of. When it comes to myself, most of all, I guess.
I don't think I did very well on the Music Theory quiz. :(
Then "counterpoint" introduced...which is tricky.
It doesn't help that I am not at my sharpest in the morning and the Prednisone upsets my stomach a little bit. After class I forgot to pick up this DVD I was supposed to pick up..I can do it Monday.
I'm a little frustrated about the Prednisone I'm taking and the question of how much I should be taking. I'm a little frustrated with myself. I drank a bottle of wine today. Oops. It did not help my mood. I wasn't planning on drinking the whole thing...it just kind of happened over the hours. I'm a bad girl sometimes. I feel fine now, just a little disappointed in myself.
Well I did do something good today. I went grocery shopping. I stocked up on healthy foods.
In general, I've been very good. I was just bad today. And I think it was because I was worried about counterpoint. That is pretty silly. Oh yeah, also a little bothered about the whole Prednisone thing. It makes me a little angry. The medicine and the uncertainty regarding it! The side effects from long-term Prednisone I read about online do not sound fantastic. I don't want a pituitary gland tumor. I don't want "truncal weight gain." I don't want to develop a hump on the back of my neck. When I think about all these preferences, I feel anxious. Ultimately, these things don't matter. It is ALL TEMPORARY. But it is hard to keep that in mind sometimes, when I feel upset and out of control (of the situation).
I know the more consciously I live my life...without running....even when I am worried about class or truncal weight gain or whatever the heck it may be...the happier and better I feel. I have noticed this. I just need to keep it all in perspective, not do the wine thing again for a long time (because it makes me sad and it is not good for my body to consume so much!), and enjoy the beauty of being alive. I am SO lucky, blessed, loved, and taken care of. My life is here, now. I don't want to miss it.
