Dad and Me on Dec. 27, 2010
What does the title of this blog have to do with what I am going to write about, you ask? Well...not a whole lot. Except it is from a wonderful book called "Adventures in Singing" that I used last year for a class that was essentially Singing 101. Lately I have been singing and playing a few of the pieces we worked on in class. Today I took one of the really simple songs and played the melody on guitar, then the chords, and along with that sang in numbers. (It was the key of F major. So F was 1, C was 5, Bb was 4, and so on.) I guess I am sort of preparing for the upcoming semester. Upcoming as in, start January 4th, as in next Tuesday, as in LESS than a WEEK from TODAY. Holy Mother of Music!I have not started packing yet, really. Though I did take a carload over to Tallahassee a couple of weeks ago. I need to write more. There is a lot of revising going in here, ackwardness in the structure of my sentences. Hmm. See?
The good news: My break has been super duper fantastically relaxing, for the most part. Christmas was basically wonderful. I had the piano tuned at my dad's. It sounds so great.
The "bad" news: My step grandfather Bill is in the hospital again. The doctors think he may have colon cancer, but it is not known for certain at this point. He went in X-mas Eve. : ( Bill is older, almost 90. My grandma Julie, his wife, turned 90 on Dec. 23. They both live with my dad, who takes care of them + works full time. I also have been living with my dad, and did so throughout my treatment. So I have become kind of close to my grandparents, toward the end of their lives. We didn't live near each other when I was a kid.
Anyway, I am trying to come to peace with the process of life which includes sickness and death, and saying goodbye, but....I've got a long way to go. The paradox of being comfortable in the midst of discomfort- change is ackward. But everything is always changing. So...eventually we learn flexibility. My goal is to become more flexible in one way, and less flexible in another. More flexible with experiencing things that are "uncomfortable," both psychologically and physically (such as remaining open in challenging emotions and exercise). And less flexible, in the sense of commitment to my studies/music, goals, and health. Not so swayed by emotion.
It is a challenge to truly be open to learning and growing when part of you is so aware of...well the impermanence of it. But that can go both ways. Because another way to look at it is...each level of skill or knowledge you reach is also impermanent in the sense that you can always improve. At least for a period of time in your life, before degenerating. But even then, who knows, maybe part of that development stays with you. If not the particular skill exactly, then at the very least the postive effect it had on your character for dedicating yourself to something like that.
