I have been crying a lot this week. I don't think it's possible for me to be depressed since I'm on an anti-depressant, a mood-stabilizer, barely drinking, and not doing any other "drugs" for that matter (besides chemo, etc.) WTF? I guess it's possible that this is depression...but I feel like there is nothing to be done...it's not something that a doctor can help me with. I feel like I just have to wait it out. I don't think that this depression is directly related to circumstances, because things are okay. I guess I have sort of tried to sleep it out...as in just sleep as much as I can....sleep through it. Hoping when I wake up it will be gone. It's not here every moment. The intensity of it comes in waves. Lately its just that it seems to be here more than it's gone. I sure hope if I have another life that I am somehow born with a "happy go lucky" disposition. More than that! I want success. To be a successful person. A happy person in a family. A giving person. A stable person. A person that is good at life and enjoys living it. Is that a lot to ask for? I guess life is probably hard for everyone, at least sometimes, even the "happy go lucky." :( This too, shall pass.
